


The Light Behind Your Eyes [A Mikey Way story]

by Justalostflutterby



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Brothers, F/M, Frerard, Frikey, Jealousy, M/M, Siblings, Supernatural - Freeform, Vampires, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-16
Packaged: 2018-02-12 14:09:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2112870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justalostflutterby/pseuds/Justalostflutterby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard is jealous. Jealous of his younger brother. But how? Why? Supernatural sides of the world do exist. Especially vampires. Everything changes when Mikey starts becoming much more introverted and isolated. Should be mostly based around Mikey's character. [& Frerard]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Save Me From My Self-Destruction

The Light Behind Your Eyes

Chapter 1: Save Me From My Self-Destruction

Mikey:

“Mikey, come on, get up; band practice!” Gerard shouted as he shook me repeatedly, trying to get me up. I yawned and pretended to be dead as he continued to try to get his way. But I was stubborn; like always, and fought against him. I really wasn't in the right mood or mind set to get up, but when was I ever?

“Never!” I shouted back at him as sarcastically as I could while I still continued to keep my eyes closed. “Me wants to stay in bed forever!” I complained like a little kid and Gerard stopped and before I knew it I was blinded by the sunlight that I hadn't seen for a few days.

“Ah, sun; bad!” I saw Gerard laugh menacingly as he made his way out of my tip-of-a-bedroom, trying not to step on a random plug. Honestly, I really did need to tidy but...I had much better things to do. Like lay in my bed and play bass until I fell asleep all day. Literally; all day. That was all I had been doing. It seemed a lot more interesting than interacting with people.

I was really starting to turn into a younger version of Gerard, I've pretty much gone deep into the “vampire” stage now. It was strange to think that Gerard had more of a social life than me, and by that I mean that he went out most days to Frank's house to play video games. Or that was what he said they were doing. God only knows what they were actually doing, bust I really didn't want to think about that.

Gerard was the only person who I had been talking to. I hadn't even heard from Frank or Ray, or if I did, I wouldn't have known about it. My phone had died and it was under my bed somewhere. God knows where it was now. I just really didn't give a care anymore. I didn't give a care about anything and I hated it.

Gerard would have told me if there was an emergency, being the 'big brother figure' that he is and all. He had always been there for me, I was proud of him for everything that he had ever done for me, or anything that he had achieved in his life in general. He was a truly amazing person who deserved to have way more credit than he got.

I rolled out of bed and hit my head on the cabinet as I went, I groaned as I stared up at the ceiling. I really didn't want to get up.

Band-practice-shwand-pwactish.

They could live without me, right? I only played the bass. Wait...Ugh. I guess I had to go. We were playing in London this weekend and we needed to get our head around the last few songs on Black Parade apparently, according to Ray. That was what I heard last week and I guessed that nothing had changed otherwise Gerard would have said. I hated being this dependant on him but what else could I do? We lived in the same house together, someone had to stay home all day in case there was any burglars...Right?

Gerard came rushing into my room and walked over to me, he helped me up into a standing position and he handed me a coffee cup. I took a few sips and regained my balance, I smiled reassuringly at him before we made our way into the kitchen where we sat at the table and I was having trouble keeping my eyes open. Gerard handed me a cookie and usually; I would be as excited as a kid on Christmas morning, but right now? I had no enthusiasm for it whatsoever.

“Mikes...You haven't been eating. You need to eat, please.” Gerard tried to urge me on and I took it from him. 'Anything to make him happy...' I told myself as I shoved the cookie in my mouth and chewed it disgustedly. It had no flavour at first but then it sunk in and I sipped my coffee in defeat.

“W-what time are we meeting Frank and Ray?” I asked as I observed the kitchen lazily, nothing had changed in here. Maybe the washing up had decreased a little. Like Gerard had said, I hadn't been eating, I just didn't want to get out of my bed.

I could see it in his eyes that he was starting to get worried about me and that frightened me a little bit, honestly it did. I hated making him upset or make him feel disappointed in me.

“Ten minutes, we're meeting them at Frank's apartment.” Ah yes, Frank's apartment – the thing of wonders. Gerard's second home in other words. I bet that he had his own little wardrobe there now and everything. Jeez, Mikey, stop getting so snappy, I told myself.

“Ah, best go get ready then.” I smiled at him warmly before going back into my bedroom and throwing on some decent-ish clothes, that I thought were decent enough anyway. It included my black skinnies, a black misfits tee, my black sweatband and my usual black jacket, I shoved on my shoes and made my way out into the bathroom, brushing my teeth and waited for Gerard by the door with my bass in hand.

“Well someone's a little eager,” Gerard smirked as he came down the hall and sent me a smile before he unlocked the door and ushered me out. I rolled my eyes and my eyes squinted up when they made contact with anything that the sun was touching. “And sensitive,” Gerard added, nudging me playfully, I sighed and the rest of the walk was silent.

I just wanted to be in my own little world and I thought that Gerard understood that because he stayed quiet, occasionally checking his phone to see if he had any messages that were from Frank I assumed.

Once we got to Frank's apartment all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and not do anything more than just that. I had used pretty much all my energy on that walk and it wasn't even that far. A few weeks ago I could do it no problem but now I didn't even want to breathe. What was happening to me? Why was I like this?

“G-Gerard...” I whimpered just after he rang the doorbell and when the door opened he gave me a quick apologetic look before Frank came out and wrapped his arms around Gerard, hugging him tightly before hugging me just as tightly. I smiled and he skipped happily into the apartment, calling for Ray to come out.

“I haven't seen you for ages, Mikey. Is everything okay?” Ray asked, smiling at me. I honestly didn't know how to answer, but I decided that lying was going to be the easiest wasn't it? It wasn't the right way, but it would give me an escape.

“Yeah, everything's fine. Er...Thanks, you?” I replied awkwardly, placing my bass down in the hall against the wall. Ray gave me awkward hug, it was rare that Ray gave hugs but I hugged him back tightly and he sighed after he pulled away.

“You can talk to me, you know that right? I know that Frank and Gerard are always loved up so...” Ray explained quietly and Gerard called us into the living room, sounding excited.

“We're on Kerrang!!” Gerard grinned and I'm Not Okay was playing with the music video too. I laughed a little at how much fun that video was to make. That was the last time that I was properly happy I seemed to remember...After that day I just spiralled downwards and now I'm stuck with no hope or getting out. Gerard sat down and pulled Frank into his lap, keeping an arm wrapped around his waist from behind. Of course Gerard wasn't gay, that was what he said whenever I asked him, but his actions beg to differ.

Frank lit up a cigarette for him before handing it to him and then lighting one for himself. I smiled a little at how relaxed Gerard looked, I'm glad – really. If he wanted to be with Frank and lie about it then fine, he can go and do that. I went into Frank's room without anyone realising and shut the door, taking Frank's spare lighter from the side and I lit up a cigarette, seeing Gerard do it loads of times. I used to smoke, a good three years ago but not anymore, I saw no value to it – until now.

I pressed it to my mouth and took in a long drag, letting it out slowly, coughing the slightest bit as my body got used to it again. I never even figured out how I stopped before, I just kind of gave up...Which probably meant that it wasn't much of an addiction but now that I had gone back to it, I knew that it was going to turn into something more. I could feel it in my gut.

I sat down on Frank's bed and stared around his room, taking in all of the tiny details that no-one else would pay attention to. Like the fact that his bed wasn't made showed that he was in a rush this morning, or he was just lazy. I even started imagining all of the times when Gerard had slept over, he would not sleep on the couch, surely. He'd sleep in Frank's bed...

I stood up slowly and turned to the door which opened and Gerard was stood there, frowning a little. He walked towards me slowly with a disappointed look on his face. “Mikey...” Gerard whispered and took the cigarette from my mouth and put it out on the ashtray next to Frank's bed. “What are you doing to yourself?”

“What am I doing to myself!?” I pretty much shouted back at him, anger pooling up in my stomach and it was making me feel faint. “Look at you Gerard, take a look in the mirror!” I shouted and Frank and Ray came into the room just to make things worse. I groaned.

“Mikey calm down...” Frank tried to simmer me down and I shook my head.

 

“No! Just...Stop! Everyone just needs to...” Was the last thing I heard myself say before I felt the floor go from underneath me and that was it. Was this the end? Could no one save me from my self destruction?


	2. It Makes It So Hard Not To Cry

Chapter 2: It Makes It So Hard Not To Cry

Mikey:

I had no idea why these things were happening to me. I would never wish them upon anyone else, not at all. But why me? I never really believed in karma before now but what had I done to deserve this? 

I faintly opened my eyes and Gerard rushed to my side, clutching my hand tightly in his. "Hey Mikes." He said breathlessly, smiling sweetly at me. I groaned and looked around, instantly realizing where I was. A hospital room. Very cheerful, great. But why? Why was I here? Out of all of the places in the world, why here? Why now? 

"W-Why am I here?" I asked quietly, it sounded much more faint and weak than I intended it to and I mentally cursed at myself for putting myself forwards as weak. I wasn't weak...Was I? I turned to the heart monitor that was beside me and I squinted without my glasses on, frowning. Whatever it was saying wasn't good, I wasn't exactly the best scientist in the world but the slow beeping would be a bad sign to anyone. A sign that told you to run, before something hurt you like a truck and it would never go back to the way that it was before.

"You blacked out?" Gerard said it as if it was a question, clearly wanting to know whether I could remember anything and I went through all of the thoughts that I could remember and nothing about passing out came to mind. The only thing that I could remember was waking up and drinking coffee...Why would I remember anything else? Why should I remember anything else anymore? What was the point? What was the point in anything!?!? God I just wanted to scream it out at the top of my lungs, just scream it out to everyone just to let one God damn person know the truth about me, because not one person did anymore. I was so done, so fucking done with everyone, with everything.

Gerard was suddenly shaking me furiously on the bed and my eyes shot open and he gasped when I came back to reality. "Shit, Mikey! STOP IT!" He shouted, tears forming behind his eyelids that looked like they were about to spill at any moment. It seemed like someone had just shot a panda bear right in front of him, instead it was because I shut my eyes for a mere few seconds.

"Wh....whut?" I murmured barely even audible, all of a sudden nurses were running in, checking the monitors and it was then that I realised that the heart monitor was going through the roof. Not literally. But it was beating a mile a minute and I turned to Gerard with terrified eyes. "Make it stop, make it stop!!" I screamed at him, feeling my heart pounding against my chest so hard that it was painful. I screamed out in pain, tears streaming down my face and a few minutes of the agonizing pain my head rolled to look at Gerard and I stared at him for a few seconds.

"Mikes..." Was the last thing I heard before my heart stopped beating entirely and everything that had mattered before didn't, nothing mattered, not anymore. Nothing...

Gerard:

I didn't think that anything could be worse than seeing my little brother laying in a hospital bed battling for his life. But this? This was monstrous. Horrific. No one deserved this, especially not Mikey. Not him...God, why didn't I pay more attention to him when I noticed that things were getting bad? Why didn't I just open up my eyes a little wider and just see what was happening under my nose!? Why!? Oh that's right, it's because I'm the worst brother in the world. I always have been, I just didn't realize it until now.

Frank tried to help me up from my permanent state of horror on the floor but it just wasn't working, it wouldn't ever work. It felt like there wasn't a way that I would ever be able to get out of this permanent spiral of hate and self-destruction. It was my fault that this was happening ot him, I pushed him too far, I always pushed him too far.

Frank held me closely into his chest, hushing me but nothing would calm me. I pushed away from him and jumped up to Mikey on the bed, shaking him impatiently. "M-Mikey..." I cried, my face was soaking due to tears and so was Frank's shirt. Frank was never really one to cry but right now he had a few tears running down his face.

"Gerard...I....I don't want to tell you this..." Frank said quietly, barely even able to speak himself. I continued to shake Mikey.

"You're not dead, you're not dead! No! You're not! What about me, Mikey!? What about all of those things that you said that you would do!? That we were going to do together! But none of that matters any more! None!!" I screamed at him and by now all of the nurses had run out of the room due to fear, trying to get others to come in and hold me down by the looks of things. I wasn't having any of it. I turned to Frank and shook him too, grabbing his shoulders hard in mine.

"You trust me, r-right?" I asked, not even trusting myself right now, especially not in the state that I was in.

Frank started to shake his head but he nodded, "I trust you." He said quietly back to me and I ran to the door and shoved something in front of it, making sure that nobody could get in. We were on the bottom floor so my crazy-wacky plan should work. However most of my plans didn't work...But here we go anyway.

I had Frank and that was all I needed right now.

The nurses had already took out his needles and IV's, so I threw him over my shoulder, shuddering at the fact that he was so lifeless. I gestured for Frank to open the window and he did so, climbing out first and waiting for me. I shifted Mikey so he was laying in my arms, so that when we got outside it was like he was sleeping, or that was what I was hoping anyway. We wouldn't be out in public for long, New Jersey was hardly a place where dead bodies were a new thing.

I climbed out of the window, manouvering Mikey so that he would fit, he was only slightly taller than me but his legs were much longer. I brushed the back of my hand over his cheek. Frank called a cab and I hoped he had money.

* * * 

The journey back to mine and Mikey's apartment wasn't long, just under ten minutes and each second was agonizing. I just clutched him to my chest, combing my hands through his mousy brown hair that was just starting to grow over his eyes. A whimper escaped my mouth when I thought about the fact that his hair was never going to grow again, that he would never wake up in my arms again. That there was never going to be a single spark of life left in him. 

Frank helped me to carry Mikey into the apartment after he payed the driver who gave us a concerned look at my state. I shoved my way through the door, carrying Mikey into my bedroom, laying him down on my bed as more tears fell down my face, just more and more and more tears. It seemed like they would never stop...

Frank walked up behind me and he wrapped his arms around my waist and stomach, pulling me off the bed and jeez, he was short, but he was stronger than me. I let him drag me out of the room. He slammed the door shut and dragged me into the living room, leading me to the couch and he sat me down before cradling me in his arms, holding me close to his chest as I sobbed my heart out, not even breathing that well anymore as more sobs and coughs came out from me.

* * * Okay by this point I'm nearly crying myself...

Mikey:

There was no way that I could explain this. No words to even start a sentence to try to explain what was happening to me. It was like I had fallen asleep, only I hadn't. I had...Died. I was dead. Yet my eyes were struggling to open, the dim light from the windows making my eyes sting and instantly become irritated. I found myself sitting up slowly and running a hand through my hair, wait, my hair was wet before wasn't it? Slightly wet at least. Now it was dry and it was like I had only just washed it.

I held my hands out and they were a lot paler than normal, I ran my fingertips over my face and realized that my jawline was now more prominent and I swear that my lips weren't as soft as they were now, before. I took a deep breath and went to Gerard's mirror across the room, gasping when I saw myself. I was a shade lighter than I was before and I clasped my hands over my mouth when I added everything together.

My skin tone, my slightly cooler temperature, coming back to life...

It was as if all of Gerard's fantasies were coming to life...

I was a vampire.


End file.
